What a Life!

Yesterday, we continued in our effort to potty train Ben. The method? I let him play outside – naked. [Don’t worry, he was in the back yard and our house is very wide and he either plays at the very back (we have a deep lot) or right up behind the house, so I doubt anyone could see him. I keep a window open so I can hear what is going on out there, and I check on him regularly as well.] Every time I went out there, I asked him if he had gone tinkle or stinky and then I explained to him that when it happened, he needed to pay attention to how it worked so he could figure out how to do it on the potty. You know, the awareness aspect of potty-training.

He was out there long enough that I’m sure he peed more than once, but I never saw any evidence of it. He’ll say he went tinkle on the potty when he didn’t, so I can’t just take his word for it. One time when I started to go out, I saw him sitting on his potty (which I had placed out there for him to use) so I made a point not to be noticed and went back inside. A bit later, when I went out, he had pooped a little. I cleaned him up and cleaned up what had landed on the sidewalk. Some time later, he had pooped again; he was sure to point it out to me and ask me to clean it up.

When I went out to bring him in for his bath, I asked him again if he’d done tinkle or stinky. He told me he had done stinky in his potty, and sure enough, he had. I was so excited I had tears in my eyes! [I would have taken a picture and shown you, but I thought that might be going a bit too far.] I must say, I don’t mind cleaning his bottom after he poops in the potty. But I’m telling you, cleaning his bottom when he’s pooped in his diaper is abominable. He doesn’t have constipation issues so of course it gets everywhere. In fact, the other day, I made him take his pants off, and I handed him the wet rag I would have used to clean his bottom and made him do it himself, followed by a bath to get what he didn’t quite get himself.

Other signs of progress…

• He is also taking an interest in sitting on the potty himself rather than objecting every time I remind him to do it even though he complies.
• He actually sits on the potty nicely rather than doing a series of acrobatic tricks on it that include moving the potty all over the bathroom and even out into the hall and living room (seriously!). The trick to get him to do that? I started using the timer to count down one minute until he needed to have his pants down and be sitting on the potty, and then I set it for three or four minutes and he holds the timer while he sits there. If he hits the buttons, either he stops the clock or adds time – which I have explained to him – so it doesn’t matter to me if he plays with it while he sits there.
• When I dress him now, I ask him if he wants to wear a pull-up or underwear and the current garment of choice is underwear.

In fact, as I type this, he is sitting on the potty reading one of his favorite stories, and I did not send him there to sit on the potty.

There is hope.

Right now the plan is to stay home and not go anywhere with him until he figures it out. Today is the third day which I have showered but not styled my hair or put on any makeup – both of which I generally do even when I have no plans to leave the house. The only way I would leave the house without my hair styled or makeup on would be in an ambulance. So we’re staying put in hopes that he’ll finally figure this out. Of course, there is always the chance that I may temporarily give up and spend a day shopping, but there are no such plans at this point.

As for the Ben-Joey battles, I’ve given up on trying to understand why Ben is constantly hitting Joey. I’ve explained over and over that Joey needs his space in order to learn and that we only touch him gently. That’s helped some, but the unprovoked hitting seems to continue. My new strategy for that? I’ve told him that when he hits Joey and makes him cry, it upsets Mommy and when Mommy is upset, she doesn’t want to read him stories or help him find his toys or do other nice things for him. Maybe that strategy will elicit some cooperation.

While we’re talking about things Ben does that are annoying, another issue we have is tidiness while eating. We pin a hand-towel around his neck to keep things tidy while he eats, but he still waves his spoon over the table and the floor and dribbles food on himself when he takes a bite. Steve and I both hate cleaning up after him when he eats. I’ve decided we will have no more of that. This morning, while he ate breakfast, instead of pinning the towel around his neck, I tucked it in his pants and took his shirt off. He hates it when I have a tea-towel on him and he spills something like applesauce on it which soaks through very quickly. Perhaps getting food directly on his chest will be incentive to figure out how to keep from dribbling it everywhere as he eats. Here you can see my method in action:

Joey got to “eat” some more yesterday as well. He was studying me while I ate some toast, so I broke off a piece of bread for him before I made myself some more toast. Here you can see him enjoying it (more as a toy than as food placed in the mouth). I did find a piece of grass in his diaper the other day, but I don’t think we’ll call it his “first food” or anything.

That’s all for now. Joey’s awake from his nap and I have kids to chase…