Here We Go Again…
Oct 25th, 2006 by Tana
Ah, the joys of mothering a newborn! Namely, lack of sleep. Joey is just like Ben in that he hates being put down…as in, he expects to be held constantly. So, just as I did with Ben, I am spending nights on the couch, trying to hold baby while sleeping in the recliner. I have a sling so I put him in that which keeps him from falling off and ending up in a crevice where he can’t breathe or something. Just the same, it’s not the most comfortable position for me. And of course, there are multiple awakenings through the night.
It was along these lines that I received my first bit of unsolicited advice post-baby number two: Why don’t you pump some breastmilk and then Steve can give it to the baby in a bottle and you can get more sleep for one of those feedings?
Sounds like great advice, doesn’t it? Until you pause to think about it…
First of all, breastfed babies have to learn how to latch on correctly or the mother gets very sore nipples very quickly. For that reason, it’s recommended that you do not give baby an artificial nipples – bottle nipples or pacifiers – for at least six weeks.
Then, when we tried to get Ben to take a bottle so that I could leave him occasionally, I had Steve give it to him while I went to another part of the house. Breastfed babies generally have a strong preference for the breast over some plastic nipple and will not take a bottle from their mommies. Well, with Ben, Steve was unable to get him to take a bottle so I finally had to give it to him myself. So I’m thinking if Steve had to give Joey a bottle, I would end up having to get up anyway. Besides, he would have to mess around with getting the milk warm and so forth and so on, and when Joey wakes up to eat at night, he’s not a very patient guy.
Problem number three: breastfeeding is a supply and demand type thing. Baby nurses, the breasts make more milk so they’ll be ready the next time baby wants to eat. If you nurse baby and pump milk, the breasts think they need to step up production because demand is higher. Then you wait twice as long to nurse baby and the breasts don’t necessarily figure that out right away. It’s the perfect set-up for painful engorgement which can lead to plugged ducts and mastitis (serious infection). Before breastfeeding is well established (during the first six weeks or so), this balance is very delicate and serious problems can be created very quickly. So telling a new mother to just pump some milk to be given to baby so she can later skip a feeding is like telling engineers to stop a river so they have a dry bed to build a bridge on without considering what happens to the water that would be flowing through the river while the bridge is built.
So, dare I say, it was a very bad piece of advice. It came from an experienced mother, though not someone who breastfed her own babies. But just the fact that it came from an experienced mother makes a new mother feel like she should listen to what has been said…even if she knows the advice is complete hogwash. Ugh!
Needless to say, we will not be going down that path again this time. I spent way too much time with Ben, listening to advice from people who considered themselves experts when they only knew 10% of the information needed to make an informed decision. Granted, sometimes those looking in on a situation from the outside can see things that cannot be seen by those on the inside. Just the same, if you haven’t walked a mile in someone’s shoes, you shouldn’t consider yourself an expert on what they should do.
I swore before this baby was born that I was going to start trusting my instincts more and spend less time worrying about what other people thought I should do. This was the first test of that resolution. And no, Steve will not be giving the baby a bottle so I can get some extra sleep.
Yay for you, Tana! Trust your instincts! I’m glad I did. We didn’t introduce a pacifier or bottle until after six weeks even though lots of well-meaning friends and family suggested it. Now we’re having trouble transitioning her to the bottle for when I have to be away, but at least we’re well established with nursing. Try to enjoy your special nighttime together, even if that recliner isn’t all that comfortable.