What a Life!

It’s been two weeks since I decided Joey needed to go to sleep in the evening. By night four, he was going to sleep at 6:30 and I heard him stir a little after 7:00, but he went to sleep on his own…which meant he was sleeping in his own bed all night because I certainly wasn’t going to move him when we went to bed and risk waking him up. He was only taking three 45 minute naps so I decided perhaps he was ready to switch to a two nap routine with longer naps. And on the fifth night, things started to unravel.

He now wakes up after about 45 minutes (like 7:15) and cries. But it isn’t the newborn I-am-so-frustrated-with-life cry – it’s a I’m-awake-and-don’t-want-to-be-in-my-bed cry. Have you every tried to put a baby to sleep when he was completely awake? It’s a waste of time. That’s how Ben was at time which triggered me to change his nap routine (eliminating a nap solved the problem). So Joey goes to sleep perfectly at 6:30 and then is back up between 7:15 and 7:30, which is about the same amout of time he spends napping during the day…as though he needs a fourth nap or something.

If Steve tries to comfort him, it’s a lost cause. I was on a business call one evening and Steve went in and got Joey when he woke up and started crying. He tried all the pat-his-back and other simple tricks before finally picking him up. But Joey just screamed and screamed. Finally, the person I was talking to asked me if that was my baby crying in the background. Apparently being at the opposite end of the house and on a different level isn’t far enough to not be able to hear Joey. I got off the phone and went upstairs to try Plan B and soothe Joey myself.

As soon as he was in my arms, he stopped crying. He looked over at Steve and gave him a who-do-you-think-you are…you-are-not-my-mommy look for a moment, then sighed and looked away and ignored Steve completely. Oh my! Which is a perfect illustration of why I say Joey is strictly a Mommy’s boy in the evenings. Other times Steve has held him while I went to do something simple like put clothes in the dryer, and as soon as I walk out of the room, he stiffens up and starts this angry cry that is impossible to soothe until I come back and take him into my arms again. My oh my!

So here is our new strategy:

Regular wake-up time – I will go in and open the blinds in the boy’s bedroom at 6:45 every morning which corresponds to when Steve comes upstairs and watches tv while he eats breakfast (the house is very quiet prior to that). I’ll fix Steve’s lunch at that point, and then I’ll go in and get Joey, who thus far has been awake by that point. If he gets up at 7:00 rather than 8:30 or 9:00, perhaps he’ll take better naps.

Nap routine – I’ll be putting Joey down for his naps at 9:00, noon, and 3:00 (or thereabouts) so he gets his rest. He generally gets tired after about an hour and a half so that allows for an hour and a half nap, which is more like what he needs.

Longer naps – Elizabeth Pantly says that 45 minute naps are insufficient and only take the edge off. Her suggestion is to go in ten minutes before they usually wake up and see what it is that wakes them up. Last night Joey slept on my lap from 6:30 to around 7:15 and then woke up and spit up all over my pants. Perhaps that is the problem? Perhaps I should not put him down with a full tummy?

Mommy time before sleeping – I’m thinking of carrying him around in a sling for a few minutes prior to going to sleep so he gets that intense Mommy time that he seems to need. I’ve been holding him more in the late afternoon, but if I do it when he awakens after bedtime, I wonder if I’m not reinforcing his desire to be up because I sit there and hold him until he goes to sleep. If I put him in the sling for a half hour after dressing him in his jammies, that might be a good bedtime routine for an infant.

Address noise problems – When you have a three-year-old, you can’t always guarantee quiet for a baby. I have classical music on public radio playing upstairs during the day, but that still doesn’t drown out Ben walking over next to the crib and announcing that Joey is sleeping.

I’m even threatening to remove the upstairs tv and not allow it back until Joey is going to sleep at 6:30 and staying asleep. TV is stimulating. If it were just me and Joey, I would make every effort to have a quiet house so he could go to sleep in the evening; I don’t seem to be getting any support on that count, though, and moving the tv might make my point blatantly clear. Don’t even ask me how many times Steve has said he could do without a tv upstairs, but every time he’s up there, he turns the [blank] thing on. Let’s just say, I hate tv.

We’ll do another review in about ten days and consider making any necessary adjustments then. For now, Joey just went down for his 9:00 nap and seems to be asleep based on the lack of fussing I hear.