What a Life!

This morning I had pictures taken of the boys at JCPenny. For $8.55, I am getting 2 8x10s, 2 5x7s, 4 3 1/2x5s, and a whole raft of wallet and billfold sized pictures. Enough pictures to give one to everyone in our family. Incidently, this is one piece of advice from my mother-in-law that I follow fanatically – she thinks JCPenny pictures are wonderful, everyone is happy to get a really big picture, and I don’t havve to spend a fortune. This, compared to the other pictures I had taken of the boys a couple weeks ago where one 8×10 is $27, one 5×7 is $17, and one 4×6 is $12. I buy those pictures for us and for a few select people who spend lots of money on us (God forgive me!). Everyone else gets JCPenny pictures.

But let me say something about getting the pictures taken. The expensive pictures are taken at a photo party by a photographer who is creative and gets great pictures. She put together a simple set and then gets these phenomal pictures with your kids just being themselves. It always amazes me how many great shots she gets because my kids never really do anything that I think is going to come out as good pictures.

That, in contrast to JCPenny where they try to create these poses that they think will look good in pictures. I mean, try to get a toddler to half-kneel (stand-kneel would be with the thighs and body aligned and sit-kneel would be with the butt sitting on the feet – half-kneel would be somewhere in-between) and then lean over and cock one’s head at a funny angle next to the baby’s head. Ben would only stand-kneel or sit-kneel…half-kneeling just wasn’t something he understood. We’d try and try to get him into the crazy position she wanted him in and you’d get his head in the right place and he’d move his body or vice versa. Then the manager (a guy) came in to help and Ben was scared of him and cried. Then we got Ben settled back down but Joey had run out of patience with lying on some pillow and was starting to fuss, which didn’t look good in the pictures. I mean, the pictures come out okay, the people I give them to think they are wonderful, but I find the experience of getting pictures done at JCPenny quite exasperating. Dare I say I’m still feeling frazzled from the experience.

Speaking of being frazzled, I seem to be having a problem with that lately. I was beginning to feel like my hair was woshled(sp?) and tied in many knots. I simply did not feel like I had a handle on things and was beginning to wonder if I was losing my sanity. I haven’t done much knitting because all of my projects have been in limbo due to design issues – I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do and thus was unable to just sit and mindlessly knit. Yesterday, I spent the afternoon knitting. I sat down and finally figured out enough of how I want to make the sweater I’m making for Ben for Christmas that I was able to sit down and mindlessly knit for a couple hours. Can I just say that I feel like my hair has been combed, washed, and simply styled in a way that feels very comfortable? You could even say I caught a glimpse of my sanity which I haven’t seen that closely since Joey was born.

Right now Joey is asleep in the Moby Wrap on my chest. I need to go upstairs and feed Ben, and I think I shall do some more knitting. After our wonderful annual photographer experience this morning, I need a peaceful moment so that my sanity may again have a chance to reappear.

I weighed Joey last night when I was at Milkworks for their breastfeeding support group: he weighed 10 lb. 4 oz. Mind you, he was 8 pounds at birth, they’re supposed to get back to their birthweight in two weeks and gain 1/2 ounce to 1 ounce every day. He was three weeks old yesterday, and believe me, he looks nothing like the baby we brought home. Even pictures taken just a week ago look like he’s a different person. He’s starting to develop rolls on his little arms and legs. They’re just so cute at this stage!

Yesterday, Oprah had on this gal who claimed she understood baby language. She says there are five words that newborns use.
neh means they’re hungry
owh means they’re sleepy
heh means they’re uncomfortable
eair signals lower gas pain and is often accompanied by leg movement
eh means they need to be put up so they can burp

Traci (my sister) called me to make sure I was watching Oprah and to find out what I thought of it. We actually get to see Oprah twice where we live and I had missed the first ten minutes of it on the first showing so I made a point to see the segment again on the second showing.

The jury is still out on whether or not this gal is right. When they showed tape of babies making those sounds, they were very familiar baby sounds. But as far as figuring out how your own baby sounds when making those noises…we’re still working on that. You have to hear the noise, guess at which one you think it is, and then see if you’re right. Right now I think I’m best at the eair and eh noises.

What they didn’t talk about on Oprah (and I’m wondering if it might be on the video you can purchase beginning on November 22nd) is what to do when you hear the particular noises. With the eh noise, she said put them up on your shoulder so they can burp, which makes sense. But what do you do when they make the eair noise? That’s the one I hear most often and I’m not sure what to do about it. Sometimes it takes a few minutes before you hear the noise they make when passing lower gas.

Needless to say, it has made me more aware of what little noises Joey makes and what they might mean. We’ve been doing the swaddling thing for unconsolable crying three nights in a row now so I’m especially curious to see if there is a “clue” he may be giving us that we’re simply missing before he gets all wound up. Check back in a few days and I’ll let you know how it’s going.

Sleep when baby sleeps seems to be the advice I hear given to new mothers most often. Granted, rest is important to a new mother, especially during the first couple of weeks. But I must confess, I do not follow that advice.

I find it far more effective to rest when my baby is awake. When babies are asleep, you can put them down. You can take a shower, grab a bite to eat, and maybe start a load of laundry. When they’re awake, they want to be held. They want to be fed, and they need their diaper changed. And then they just want to look into your eyes. They’re interested in memorizing every single aspect of your face. They want to hear your voice. They want to be with you. And they get very upset if you put them down.

Joey is okay if I want to put him down for a moment to change Ben’s diaper or take a bathroom break myself. But other than that, when he’s awake, that’s when I take my breaks. Then when he’s asleep I’m able to get things done, mostly without interruption (I still have a 3-year-old, you know). And I don’t resent a single moment…sitting down, doing nothing but holding my baby. After all, he’ll only be __ days old once. I enjoy those moments and treasure them. Soon enough he’ll be wanting to get down and go explore. He won’t be happy anymore simply being held. These moments will be gone too quickly, so I enjoy them while they last.

But as for what I have gotten done lately…

I am a list-keeper. I have them sorted by contexts, such as errands, home office, around the house, etc. My lists are fairly up-to-date, but they are also longer than normal. Every Sunday I review them and re-write what I didn’t accomplish during the last week on a fresh list for next week. I got a lot done last week, but my lists are still longer than usual. Perhaps that is because we’ve gone through a major life change recently?

My husband has commented more than once after coming home from work that I seem a bit “frazzled. I may have my lists in place, take small bites when it comes to doing things, and so forth, but you cannot change the fact that I am trying to keep track of a toddler, please a newborn, and get a few things done for myself. Perhaps “frazzled” is an understatement.

My greatest accomplishment last week was probably making a quilt. Yes, I know, that sounds ridiculous – I made a quilt. It wasn’t a difficult quilt. The blocks were fairly large and there weren’t many seams to line up. It was a quilt, none the less. I devoted my entire day to working on it Thursday, though I probably only spent a total of four hours or so on it. I pieced the top and then pinned the quilt. Friday, I bought groceries and stopped at the local fabric store and bought yarn to tie my quilt. Saturday morning, I finished basting the edges together and piecing the binding. Then during the football game I did the handsewing of the binding, which is the last step.

So yes, I made a quilt. Why? you ask. Well, if you’ve shopped at all for baby things recently, the current fashion is these really soft, furry baby blankets. This quilt is made out of that type of really soft, plush fabric. And it’s a quilt. My babies don’t have grandma’s who make quilts for them. And for some reason, I’ve grown to have this deep appreciation for handmade quilts. My children deserve to have handmade quilts.

I saw quilts like this at my favorite quilting store before I got pregnant and swore I wanted one for our next child. That, along with a glider to rock my baby in and Kisslauvs cloth diapers for newborns. I found the diapers I wanted used in various places online, and I intend to sell them for about what I spent on them after we’re through using the newborn size. About a week before Joey was born, I went and got a glider, thanks to my parents and sister and brother-in-law who supplied the funds, making that our baby gift from them. And then after Joey was born, I got an email from my favorite quilt store saying they were going out of business (the owner had moved and didn’t want to bother with running it anymore), and the cost of the quilt was finally at a place that I thought I could afford. So I bought the kit, and now I made my quilt. Now I have all of the dream-come-true items on my wishlist for this baby.

Here you can see the glider and the quilt:

I am so blessed!

Yesterday it was really warm here. I don’t know what the high was, but I’m thinking we set a record. I had the windows open and got some of Ben’s old summer clothes out for Joey to wear. (Since Ben was born in July and Joey was born in October, Joey hasn’t been wearing any of Ben’s newborn clothes.) Of course, Joey looked so cute, I had to take pictures. I couldn’t find any digital pictures of Ben wearing the same outfit at the same age – I think they were taken with my film camera. But here are pictures of Joey and then Ben that you can compare just for fun. I have pictures of Steve as a baby, but I still need to download the pictures of me as a baby so comparing them with us will be in a future blog entry coming soon.

Joey – 16 days

Ben – 12 days

I was a bit more productive yesterday than I was Monday afternoon. I think Monday afternoon seemed wasteful mostly because I spent most of my time sitting around listing all the things I needed to do and getting almost none of them done. Yesterday I crossed a number of things off my lists which made me feel very good. I mean, I know I am only a couple weeks post-partum, but this was the thing I really struggled with as a SAHM after Ben was born. I’ve learned a lot in the three years that I’ve been a SAHM, but while I was pregnant with Joey, I did a lot of reflecting and decided that my original concept of what being a SAHM was, based on what I saw my mother and grandmothers do, wasn’t necessarily what it was going to be like for me. So now that my life is a bit closer to “normal” again, there will be some changes made to my daily life as a SAHM.

I bought a new sling while I was pregnant with Joey. With Ben I used the sling a lot when I was out shopping – it was so much easier to carry him in that than to keep track of him otherwise. I could have my hands free to do what I needed to do and he was always happy because he was close to me. I used my Maya Wrap the most, which goes over one shoulder and has rings. While I was pregnant with Joey, I looked back into the world of slings and learned about cloth slings that go over both shoulders. I bought a Moby Wrap which is a knit version of that style of sling (it has a bit of stretch to it that woven fabric doesn’t have).

I had practiced putting it on, which is more complicated than the slings that just go over one shoulder, but I hadn’t tried putting Joey in it much yet. Yesterday, I finally put him in it and got fairly comfortable with it. All I have to say is that this sling is so much easier on the back and shoulders because the weight is distributed more evenly. We’re not just talking in comparison with how it felt with Ben – I’ve used my Maya Wrap with Joey a number of times, and this sling is far more comfortable than the Maya. The reason I never used the Maya Wrap at home was because I would get so tired carrying Ben around like that.

Having this sling will have a huge impact on my productivity, I think. As I type, Joey is sleeping quietly in the sling and I am using both hands to type (something that cannot be done if one hand is tied up holding a baby). I have to be careful when I bend over to do things (like taking laundry out of the dryer), but as long as I’m upright, it works very well. This sling won’t work as well for nursing as the Maya Wrap does; however, I will be able to carry Joey around in it until he is tired of it rather than when I am tired of it.

It will be interesting to see how the remainder of my planned changes to my lifestyle will pan out as this change has. Keeping lists of what I need to do and having the right wrap are definitely making a significant difference at this point. More later on changes to my philosophy of being a SAHM and such.

Steve went back to work last Monday, and my mom left yesterday after being here for ten days. So we’re on our own again. In some ways, it’s nice to do things myself and not have to worry about telling someone else what needs to be done and how to do it. On the other hand, when I sat down to do bills yesterday, I managed to sort them and that was all the further I got (usually I’m able to sort them, reconcile my accounts, pay the bills, and file everything all in one sitting). I told Steve when he got home last night that he can’t complain about things not being done for a couple weeks while I get back up to speed.

Ben wasn’t himself really after mom left yesterday. She left right after lunch, and all afternoon he didn’t have much energy, wasn’t very interested in his toys, and even fell asleep on the floor. When Steve came home, he didn’t seem to care, and usually he gets really excited when Daddy comes home. Steve was only home for about a half hour – he went up to his alma mater to see a playoff football game with a couple of high school buddies. After Steve left, I was unable to entice Ben to eat even his favorite foods. I gave him a bath about a half hour earlier than normal. I was nursing Joey when all of a sudden Ben started crying and I went into the bathroom and it looked like he’d pooped in the bathwater. I got him out, cleaned him up and put his jammies on. I had promised to read him an extra story, but after a single story, he got down from the couch and trotted off to bed as is his usual custom. Shortly after that, when I went to clean out the tub, what I found was more like vomit than poop, so I’m thinking perhaps he had a tummy ache, either from his food not agreeing with him or from missing Grandma who had just left. This morning he’s more like his usual self, but at the moment, he is upstairs having a fit over a cheap little car that keeps falling apart. Gracious!

Today is Election Day, and yes, I have every intention of voting…with both boys in tow. I took Ben with me to vote in the primaries and he did just fine. I’m thinking if I have Joey in the sling, Ben will stick with me and everything will be just fine. I plan to go to the polls early this afternoon when I’m hoping it will be a bit slow. The retirees running the poll always enjoy seeing Ben. Last time they gave him a sticker, and I’m thinking he’ll enjoy that again this time. I must confess, I’m glad it is finally Election Day – I’m always so glad when it’s over because I get so tired of hearing about it. In fact, this morning, I hardly watched the news at all because all they were talking about was the election.

I am feeling quite well for giving birth a mere two weeks ago. Joey is a fairly easy baby once you get him figured out, and I’m only 7.5 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight. I’m wearing civilian clothes on top – no more maternity blouses – and my knit pants fit okay, but I’m by no means back into my jeans. That will come with time, I’m sure. Quite frankly, I’m rather amazed at how good I look considering that I a just two weeks post-partum. I’m still not back to lifting Ben, but I’m thinking perhaps those days are over. He’s become accustomed to climbing on his bed for me to change his diaper (rather than my lifting him up onto the changing table) and that seems to be working quite well. Hopefully soon we’ll get to potty training and I will have only one in diapers instead of two.

I’ve been making my lists again of things that I need to do. While I still think of things occasionally that I need to add, I would say they are about 90% complete. Now I just need to get busy and start getting things done…