What a Life!

Steve was waxing poetic this morning while we were drinking our coffee.

Violets are red,
Roses are blue,
I’m confused,
And so are you.

Or something like that. Whatever it was, I found it hysterical and still laugh to the point of getting tears in my eyes at what I think I remember him composing this morning.

Steve says one of the reasons why he married me is because I laugh at his jokes. Apparently not everyone thinks he is funny. I cannot imagine how that could be so. But if you don’t find the above poem funny, that’s okay. You can go read someone else’s blog…

Cheers!

You think he’ll stay warm? Last two days it was pretty cold – below zero at night, in fact. Today we’re having a heat wave – high of 35 with rain and snow this afternoon.

Ben’s hair is quite short, so regardless of whether he goes to bed with it wet or dry, he invariably wakes up with “roosters” in his hair. I use the little brush they gave us at the hospital for washing baby’s hair with a little water on it to get them to settle down.

This morning, I fixed his roosters and then he decided to fix Joey’s roosters.

I told him to leave Joey’s roosters alone and go fix Mr. Bunny’s roosters. [Mr. Bunny is the gracious recipient of Ben’s affections mimicking everything I do for Joey.]

Then he said, “Mommy have chickens.”

Chickens? Where do I have chickens? We don’t own any chickens. What is he talking about?

I looked at him and he said it again.

“Mommy have chickens,” and he pointed at my hair.

Okay, I get it…

We did not get Joey’s pictures taken yesterday. Our lovely photographer decided to reschedule the morning appointments for Thursday morning.

Steve came home from work, popped in to say hi, then went out to shovel the snow that had blown back into the driveway and sidewalks during the day. Then his brother arrived, and they left for the basketball game.

Needless to say, it was a very long day. No break from going to town. No break in the evening with an extra set of hands to keep everyone in line.

So what did I do? I put the boys to bed and spent the evening on the phone.

I moved to Lincoln six years ago spend more time with extended family. Lincoln is the crossroads for our family in the Midwest, and there are all sorts of people who live here who I know but haven’t spoken with in months or years.

One cousin had a baby three weeks after Joey was born. The last time I saw her was at her wedding shortly after Steve and I got married. She has never even met Ben.

Another cousin I last talked to before Joey was born. She was going to help me pin my quilts before Joey arrived, but either she was busy or I was too tired and we never got together. Her daughter just found out she is expecting so she is going to be a Grandma. And you know what I’m thinking…ah, another baby sweater to knit!

I think I found some good yarn for knitting baby sweaters. Swish Superwash from Knit Picks. It’s machine washable and 100% wool. (I’m opposed to acrylic and other non-natural fibers because in my experience, they are dreadfully hot to wear, even if they are “soft.”) A baby sweater only needs 4 or 5 skeins, so it’s at a price I can afford. And as fast as babies grow, I’m not too worried about whether it’s going to wear well for years and years.

I have another friend who just had a baby for whom I want to knit a baby sweater. She has beautiful red hair and loves the Mary Kay eye color Jungle so I think her baby’s sweater will be knit with Dublin and Copper. They are colors I would probably never use for myself unless they were accents, but I think they would be beautiful on her and hopefully look great on her new little boy as well.

I asked my cousin (the one with the baby three weeks younger than Joey) what her little guy looks like. She has blonde hair and blue eyes, and I know her husband’s hair is light brown. I’m thinking Deep Ocean or Capri are colors that would look good on either of them and thus hopefully look good on little Jack as well. However, I am so tired of knitting blue yarn – I don’t know if I could possibly stand to knit up something in one of those colors. Grey is boring. Truffle is too dark, I think. Fired Brick is beautiful, but on a blonde baby? Not sure.

I think Bordeaux is pretty too. I’m sure someone will have a little girl eventually who I can knit a little sweater for. Right now I just have more boys to knit for.

The fun of knitting baby sweaters is that you can test all sorts of styles and techniques and the project isn’t overly expensive or time consuming. I am sure each little sweater will be an original design. I already have a long list of ideas running through my head for what I might do. I just need to decide on colors.

Do you knit yarn that you think is pretty, or do you knit something that would be beautiful on the baby and make the mommy want to have his picture taken in your little sweater? That is the dilemma.

One of my unspoken New Year’s Resolutions was to beef up my social life. I’m one of those people who doesn’t naturally want to reach out and call people. I’d rather sit down and knit or read a good book. But the thing is, if you don’t make an effort to reach out and connect with people, at some point, you find yourself all alone and wishing you had a good friend to call. I’ve been there before, and it isn’t fun. I’ve decided to make a point to reach out to people on a regular basis so that I don’t find myself there again. Dialing the phone number of someone who you haven’t talked with in years isn’t necessarily easy, but it is so worth it. I shall be doing this some more…

Today I have an appointment to get Joey’s 3-month pictures taken.

Of course, it snowed last night. We were supposed to get somewhere between three and five inches. My estimate from the front window is that we got about three inches. Steve will be going out to scoop snow soon so we’ll get the real estimate then.

The snow will not stop me, however. I’m having one of the best photographers in town take Joey’s pictures. If it were JCPenny, I would reschedule.

I have not yet decided what he should wear. Ben’s 3 month picture has me in a nice, blue, button-down shirt with him in my arms wearing only a diaper. Joey would be cute in the same “outfit” but I hate to have the same exact thing of both boys.

My favorite outfit is dirty. I need to go put it in the wash so I can at least have it along.

I could do the diaper thing with a wool cover instead of the white one used by Ben. However, the white one with my blue shirt just looks so nice.

I don’t have any cute knitted things that fit him well enough for him to wear. Perhaps at six months he can wear mommy-knits for his picture.

And I must fix my hair nice. I haven’t gotten my curling iron out since I got my hair cut short. I’m threatening to heat up the old beast this morning and use it a little. I have discontinued its use mainly because I am afraid of a certain three-year-old touching it while it is hot and getting burned. Also, it takes more time to fix my hair if I curl it. Lazy. I know.

Joey’s been smiling for weeks now, but I have yet to capture a smile with our camera. It’s making me want to upgrade our camera to one that snaps sooner after you press the button. Ours has too much of a delay. I’m tired of taking ten pictures in order to get the timing right to get some cute antic. A faster speed would allow me to take two pictures instead of five or six. Maybe.

I really want a smile, though. Joey is so personable. He’ll look you right in the eye and smile and talk like he’s got all sorts of things that he wants to tell you. It’s so precious. His little conversation is getting more and more confidence in its tone. And he just loves to look you in the eye and smile.

I could have had his three-month pictures taken last month. My favorite photographer does sessions at Milkworks the second Tuesday of every month. The session in January was two weeks before he turned three months. Today’s session is two weeks after, but I decided to go later than earlier so he’d be smiling and interacting more. I was right.

So we shall get his picture taken, and then if I am feeling brave, I shall go look at cameras. We’ve upgraded before – I sell the old camera on ebay and then we only invest a little in the newer, better camera. I used to have a Cannon Rebel SLR film camera. I miss that camera. But I was tired of developing film and our digital camera at the time was only 2.0 megapixels. Now we have one that is 5.0 megapixels, but it is slow. I don’t care about the resolution – I just want some better speed. And a camera where I can fool around with the settings (not that I do now even though I have one that allows such messing around).

I want to capture artistic images of life and post them on a flickr account. Theoretically. It would be another hobby where I’d have something to show for my effort. I like having something to show for my effort.

I need to figure out how much I can get for our current camera. I kept the box, the manuals, and all the stuff that comes with a new camera. I thought I might want to sell it and upgrade later on. I was right.

And it’s all just in the name of capturing a smile from my sweet little Joey. Mr. Personality. Our Bundle of Joey.

Quick Correction: Steve says I’m very bad at estimating how much snow we got. He says it’s at least five inches and it’s very heavy snow. I think I’ll be calling our photographer to make sure she’s still going to be there before we head out.

It’s a signature Rush Limbaugh line, but I think it more accurately describes mothers with small children.

My days seem to revolve around feeding my children and then waiting for them to poop. Hoping that their poop won’t leak out and get on their clothes. It usually doesn’t, but it has enough times for me to worry about it.

We get up in the morning. Or I get up. I get up at 5:30 or so and have some time to myself. Somewhere sometime during the six o’clock hour, usually, Ben gets up. But he is more interested in Daddy than in me…thank goodness. When Steve stays up late on the weekend like he’s in college or something and then Ben gets up early and goes directly in to jump on Steve who is still lying in bed…I quietly laugh to myself. I may have half my brain tied behind my back, but I’m smart enough to go to bed at a responsible hour in case I get woken up early.

I get up at 5:30 and have some time to myself. I make sure both boys are up by 7:30, which is also around the time Steve leaves for work. I feed Joey and stash him in the swing while I fix Ben breakfast. Then with Joey safely in the swing and Ben coralled in his high chair with a bowl of food, I disappear for my daily shower.

I re-fill Ben’s bowl a couple times while I’m getting dressed. He always wants applesauce first, then yogurt. Like clockwork. I don’t even put the applesauce away after I put it on his Grapenuts because I know he’ll be asking for some more. Then he eats his yogurt…minus the fruit which he diligently picks out…and then he’s done. I try to be done fixing my hair and putting on makeup by that point. And yes, I put on makeup almost every day. Almost.

Not today, though. It’s pajama day. We’re not going anywhere today. There’s no room for changing my mind since I don’t leave the house without makeup on. That’s just how it is.

I get Ben down from his highchair, make the beds, finish getting dressed, and go check the laundry. By this time Joey has tired of his swing and is itching to get out. When he’s tired of his swing, his diaper is usually full as well.

I get worried these days when I change Joey and his diaper isn’t poopy. Most moms don’t say such things, but my baby had pyloric stenosis. Since nothing was getting through his digestive system, he wasn’t pooping. Ben used to poop once a week. Joey poops after almost every meal. If Joey pooped once a week like Ben did, I don’t know how I would handle it.

I change Joey’s diaper and then we go downstairs. Unless Ben’s diaper is stinky already. It takes him about a half hour after he eats breakfast. I’m his mother. I know.

So with both boys in fresh diapers, we venture downstairs. I do things I can do with a baby in my arms. Surf the web. Watch the previous night’s news that I taped. Get after Ben because he’s getting into stuff he isn’t supposed to. This morning I watched the rest of the Budweiser Shootout. I say the rest because we didn’t get home and start taping it until they were on lap 19. That’s okay. They said the next 50 laps were far more exciting anyway.

Joey only lasts for about an hour and a half. Then he goest down for his nap. I nurse him to sleep. It just works too well for me to change my ways. He’s taking hour-and-a-half to two-hour naps now. He stirs a little after 45 minutes (when he used to wake up) but he seems to go right back to sleep.

While Joey sleeps, I do things that require two hands. Post an entry on my blog. Knit. Something useful like paying bills or doing taxes. Some days I’m more motivated than others.

Then Joey wakes up and we start all over again. Feed him. Wait for him to poop. Change him again, and go do something I can do with a baby on my lap. Sometimes he’s happy in the bouncy seat. That’s where he is right now. Ben’s pushing around his shopping cart which is filled to the brim with all his little toys. He’s still wearing his pajamas too.

I don’t know what we’ll be having for supper tonight. The moms from playgroup told me I should try the slow cooker meals they have in the grocery store where you just dump it into the crock pot, set the time, and then eat it at supper time. Sounds great, in theory at least. My problem, though, is failing to plan ahead. Making something in a crock pot requires me to plan ahead eight to ten hours. It requires me to know in the morning when everything seems fine and dandy that at the end of the day I’ll be too tired to feel like cooking. Perhaps I am still in denial. Perhaps every day is like that. But I seem to do better with things I can fix in ten minutes after Steve gets home. Yeah, when Steve gets home and he can watch the boys while I do something real like cook.

Sometimes I feel like the only thing I do well is knitting. Perhaps its that I have something to show for my efforts. I mean, I may be good at changing diapers, but as soon as you change one, the next one is soiled and in need of being changed. No sense of accomplishment there. Nothing to show to anyone for them to admire.

Sewing is something I dream of doing once my kids are all in school. It takes too much effort to set up the machine, put the ironing board in a place where nobody will knock it over and burn themselves, make sure the machine hasn’t been re-set by busy little hands while I was pressing a seam, and then focus enough to not sew the wrong pieces together the wrong way. I’ve given up completely on making clothes. I hate making diapers, but I like mine better than anybody else’s that I can buy so I grin and bear it. I need to start thinking about making the next size up for Joey since it takes me forever to get them done (due to all the dragging of feet), and he’s growing fast. Quilting is a necessary evil for the glory of having pretty non-store-bought quilts.

Someday when my children are in school I will buy a new sewing machine. A Bernina perhaps. Not another Viking. I want something that doesn’t break down every time I use it…either due to age or over-engineering. Then perhaps I’ll sew again for the joy of sewing. Something I did when I was single and lonely and didn’t have half my brain tied behind my back.

Knitting is something I can easily cart around the house, something that can be done a stitch at a time. A row here, a row there. It’s the last remaining symbol of progress in a chaotic world. How I manage the think clearly enough to design anything is beyond me. Somehow I am compelled enough to do it that all the obstacles that get in the way of doing other non-amazing things like cooking or sewing a simple shirt.

For now I shall do what I can, even if it means accomplishing very little beyond keeping our clothes clean, stomachs filled, diapers fresh, and checkbook balanced. For that is all I can do with half my brain tied behind my back.

Someday I will do great things again. I’ll have something to show for my busy day. I’ll be able to go shopping without fear of losing a child or having to figure out where that thing they picked up belongs. I’ll be able to sew the correct pieces together with the correct sides together…most of the time. I’ll be able to fix a meal that takes more than ten minutes of my time. Something complicated, like a slow cooker meal made from scratch – you have to thaw the meat, cut up the vegetables…all of which requires planning ahead at least forty-eight hours. Someday I’ll be smart enough to do things like that again.

For now I shall enjoy hearing my three-year-old sing Old MacDonald Had a Farm and the Alphabet over and over again. I shall talk to my baby and listen to him babble back to me. We shall all wear our pajamas and the boys will play in the basement while I watch a movie in segments. Many segments. Starting something and sticking with it until it is finished is not something you can do with half your brain tied behind your back.

[Deep breath] Somebody’s tired of his bouncy seat and wants to be held. The other somebody is tossing an empty milkjug around the basement. (Where did he get that?) The washer needs soap. And two baskets of clean, folded clothes need to be put away so the dryer can be emptied. Enough now, enough. I must go do the things that I do for which there is never evidence of them having been done.