What a Life!

It used to be that giving Ben a bath was Steve’s job. But Steve doesn’t like to sit in there with Ben, and what he does instead is stuff like cleaning up the kitchen after supper and tidying the house [things which I definitely am not opposed to]. At times when Ben has played outside all day, when he finally came in, he was too dirty to do anything so I had to give him a bath right away. Steve was so happy to not have to bother with giving Ben a bath that I thought perhaps I’d start giving Ben a bath every day shortly before Steve came home. Yes, perhaps. One can have the best of intentions but things don’t always work out that way.

As of late, Ben has become rather bored with baths. He has toys, but he only uses them to do bad things. Like…the rubber ducks – you squeeze the air out of them, stick them in the water, suck up some water, and then spray the water all over the bathroom floor. Or…you chew on the fish in your fishing set instead of catching them with your fishing rod. You get the picture. Basically, giving Ben a bath has gone from being a task that had to be done to a daily misery because of his bad behavior. [Perhaps this is why my good intentions to bathe Ben have yielded nothing.]

Now that Joey is pulling himself up, he, too, has become a part of the nightly bath routine. As soon as you turn on the water, Joey drops what he is doing and travels in high-gear over to the tub where he pulls up on the edge and watches the whole process. He is utterly fascinated with the water and the bathtub.* Of course, that means that not only does Ben get the floor wet, the new thrill is getting Joey wet too. Oh joy and rapture!

So I had this bright idea. I wouldn’t just give Ben a bath before Steve came home, I would read him a story while he was in the tub. From a book without pictures. A story that was good to listen to while you were quietly doing something else. Then Ben wouldn’t find the bath time as such a drag and maybe he’d just sit there and play nicely.

And my even brighter idea? Since Joey was so fascinated with the water in the tub and I would be sitting there right with them anyway since I would be reading Ben a story, I would put Joey in the tub with Ben and I wouldn’t have to worry about Joey drowning or anything. Joey could play in the water, Ben could listen to a story, and I would be busy reading (with the book strategically held so I could see the boys at the same time) so I wouldn’t be bored either.

Yup, bright ideas we have. Har, har, har!

Here’s what really happened:

I told Ben it was time for him to have a bath and asked him if he would like it if I read him a story while he was in the tub. He thought that was a great idea. Then I asked him if Joey could play in the tub with him while he took his bath. I explained that the water wouldn’t be quite as deep and he would have to be very careful and not push or shove Joey or knock him over because he could get hurt very badly. Ben thought that would be okay.

I put Ben in the tub and washed him while the water was running, as usual. Then I undressed Joey and put him in the tub. I picked up the book I had selected and started reading. Ben was being a saint, after all. And Joey? He was happy too.

Actually, Joey was having the time of his life. Joey was splashing and moving around and just having the best of times. He was like the little Energizer Bunny turned loose. I did not know he could have so much fun. I must confess, I didn’t even get through one entire page of the book.

Ben and I decided that Joey was Big Splash and Ben was Little Splash. Because really, that’s how it was.

The bathroom? I don’t think Ben’s worst episode of spraying ducky water all over could come anywhere near to what Joey managed to do. I grabbed old towels and laid them on the floor. Even then, I had to get them both out after only a few minutes or there wouldn’t have been any water left in the tub. I did managed to catch some of it with our DVD recorder. When the world goes to the dogs, take lots of pictures, right?

Tonight I shall try giving them both a bath at the same time again. But I shall omit the reading a story part. I think Joey playing in the bathtub will be more than enough entertainment for all of us.

*A funny side note: at our house, we not only put the toilet seat down (a rule for the guys), the toilet lid gets put down too. I have this terrible anxiety about things like makeup brushes or toothbrushes or other things falling into the toilet. But the other day, Ben emptied his potty into the toilet and put it into the sink to be rinsed but I didn’t get to it right away. So both the seat and the lid were up…when Joey discovered them. I’m telling you, he had pulled himself up on the toilet and was standing there looking into the toilet bowl with that same awe and utter fascination he has when he watches Ben take a bath. Way too funny!

We’ve been having a heat wave for as long as I can remember…well, maybe not quite that long. Since last weekend, though. They’ve quit talking about the temperature – it’s the heat index that they give in the weather report. We’re talking 110 degrees outside…or at least that’s what it supposedly feels like.

Steve came home for lunch today. The first words out of his mouth were, “It’s hot outside,” followed by a look over at me because he knows I hate it when anybody says it’s hot outside because then Ben won’t go outside to play and instead stays inside and drives me crazy.

But before I could give him a dirty look, Ben said, “It’s hot outside, but it’s cool in the back yard.”

That’s right, Ben. It’s cool in the back yard.

Ah, the joys of raising children? Since you read this blog, I’m sure you’re sitting on the edge of your seat waiting to hear about Ben’s latest annoying habit. Well, your wait is over. Here it is:

Yup, it’s spitting. Here he’s drinking water from a water bottle and spitting it out, but believe me, the water bottle is not a critical component of this behavior. I’m telling you – he can spit anytime, anywhere, any place. Just the sound of it makes me cringe. Seriously, it’s gross.

We’ve told him not to spit. Yeah, that really worked.

I’ve tried the method of telling him spitting is only allowed in certain places. Outside. On his bed. In the tub. In the bathroom sink. At least that way I’m not sitting on wet furniture or slipping on spit-covered floors. But still, just the sound of it…

A while ago, I was so frustrated with how he’d go over and hit Joey out of nowhere and knock him over and such. He’s not as bad about that as he was. Or perhaps I should say it isn’t just this random pattern anymore. He still pushes and shoves, but there is an obvious cause (he thinks Joey should be doing something or be somewhere else). We’re working on this of course, but in the real world, behavior problems do not just disappear overnight (as those without children would like to think).

And he used to entertain himself all day. He’d read his stories, play with his trucks and cars, play outside for hours on end. Now he does none of that. All he can do is pester Joey and spit. Spit, spit, spit.

I’m a dismal failure as a mother.

Now I know, throwing money at a problem isn’t always necessarily the way to solve it. But last night, in desperation, I found this online and decided to order it. I’m hoping it will help me help Ben find more interesting things to do. As in, more interesting things to do than spit. Ugh!

This morning I played the piano and sang with him. The Alphabet Song, Old MacDonald Had a Farm, and Shall We Go For a Walk Today? among other favorites. [I don’t have the music to any of those songs which is why I haven’t played any of them for him before, but desperate times call for desperate measures, like improvising at the piano, which I suppose can’t hurt me…] He seemed to really enjoy it.

Later on I plan to make some zucchini patties and zucchini bread to use up some zucchini I have. My intention is to invite him to watch me and perhaps help where he can.

I need to make a point to involve him in my activities. Accomplishing that will require me to change the way I do things, but if it means less spitting, I’m all for it.

Two of my favorite photos taken this week…

Usually pictures are taken from the front, and you miss seeing those precious little curls.

What lies beyond, you do not see. This photo was taken with a 4.0 aperture. That’s what my camera wanted to use, so I let it. But I also took pictures with smaller apertures, like 5.6 and higher. After all, I was working with landscape, and for landscape you want a small aperture so everything is in focus, right? When I downloaded them, though, it was the 4.0 that I loved.

What lies beyond the fence at the back of our yard isn’t necessarily what most people would call “scenery.” It’s industrial. As in, steel buildings, semi trailers, forklifts and such. The fog did a great job of covering it up. The 4.0 aperture shortened the depth of field enough to blur anything that was somewhat visible in spite of the fog. What remains is the best of our backyard with a dreamlike quality to it. And that’s how I like to think that it is.

It’s all in how you look at things…

Why is it when someone coordinates something, people think that means they do everything?

I came across this post this morning in my usual blog reading. The gal coordinates hundreds of people knitting socks for a “secret pal” and uses some kind of database to do it. (I’m not participating – I just read her blog.) But read the first paragraph. Apparently, instead of updating the database to show that their socks are done, people are emailing her directly as though she is going to go update the database for them. What is with that?

It strikes me because I just ran up against this in my personal life recently. Continue Reading »

Yesterday morning, the plan was to go to town and run some errands, including a visit to the grocery store since we were out of milk. (I hadn’t done my usual Friday grocery shopping last weekend since we were going to Iowa and all.)
I got everyone in the car and turned the key to start it: it cranked a little but didn’t start. All further attempts only resulted in a clicking noise. So…

I called Steve and told him about it. When we bought the car, the mechanic that looked it over for us (prior to our purchase) said the battery was 80%. Steve and I decided the battery probably was done-for.

I called the two mechanics in town – one wanted $99 for the battery and installation and the other wanted $86 for the battery and $25 for installation or just $25 for the installation if we went and got a battery ourselves and brought it to him.

I called five different places to price batteries. All but one had these batteries with an 84 month warranty that they wanted anywhere from $75 to $89 for. What do you want an 84 month warranty for on a battery anyway? They only last about five years or so…and who’s to know if we’ll still either live here or have the car when the battery goes kaput? Even if we do still have the car and the receipt for the battery, do I really want to go to all the trouble of taking it back to them and then getting them to give me a new one and pay for its installation? I mean, given our history with cars, we’ll probably still own the car, and I am one who would keep the receipt and be able to find it when the time came. But still…

I did find one with only a 5 year warranty for a mere $49.99. So after Steve left work for the day, he went and got one of those batteries (and a gallon of milk).

As soon as he got home and changed, we headed out to the garage. In order for the jumper cables to be able to reach from his truck over to the car, the car needed to be backed out of the garage. The plan was that he would push the car, and I would sit in the driver’s seat and use the brakes to stop it and such. But before we did that, I decided to try and start it just to show him what it did. The hood was up and he was leaning over the engine, watching. I turned the key…and it started up perfectly! I swear!

We let it run for a few minutes, and then Steve put the new battery in the trunk and I drove it down to the mechanic. Steve told me to try and start it once more a few seconds after I turned it off to see if it was just some fluke. Nope, it started up perfectly again. [Eyeroll]

The mechanic called this morning, and I told him what happened. He said sometimes just the act of trying to start it will stimulate the battery enough that it will recharge itself enough to start later like that. I think we’re still replacing the battery, though. I don’t want to get stuck somewhere in town with two boys and a car with a dead battery. Since we’ve gone to all the trouble of getting another battery and taking it to the mechanic, we might as well go ahead and finish what we started.

Now onto a completely different topic (sort of an addendum to yesterday’s post)…

Why I need a job: so I can take pictures like this on the way to work in the morning… I never leave the house early enough to get pictures like that even though when we drive to church every week, we go down a road where there is all sorts of great scenery I would love to photograph. It’s always late in the morning, though, and I have the entire family in tow. I don’t know how much patience they would have with my stopping here and there to take pictures. Perhaps I need to schedule a photo shoot just myself…

Why I could be happy living in Montana: so I could take pictures like this (check out her entire photo stream – amazing!)… Steve has mentioned on more than one occasion that he would like to live in Montana (there seem to be lots of job opportunities there in his field, for some reason). I have always drug my feet, thinking, How far would it be to the nearest Starbucks? Wait! I just went over to the Starbucks website and there are sixteen Starbucks locations in Montana. Hmm…