I took the boys to the library today for story time. It’s been on my list of intentions for quite some time, but never got any further than that. Other things, other things…
I didn’t tell Ben what we were doing until about an hour before we had to be there. Part of it was my being unsure as to whether or not we’d make it out of the house by then. The other part? Well, Ben started misbehaving and I told him if he was good (I was specific, not general, like I’m being here), we could go to the library for story time. [Never waste a good opportunity to bribe motivate your children to behave.]
Needless to say, all of a sudden I had a saint on my hands. I’m telling you, he even put his own shoes on, though I still had to fasten them. [The things he can do when he sets his mind to it…] He even went out and got in the car ten minutes before I wanted to leave and sat in his seat and waited. Clearly, this was a big deal to Ben.
I told him on the way there that he would be going to the story time for big children like him and that Mommy wouldn’t go with him. He would come out at the end and Mommy would be right there to greet him when it was over. [I used to take him to toddler storytime, and you have to go through the toddler storytime room in order to get to where they have the preschoolers, so I knew the kids go by themselves, even though Ben had never gone to that group.]
We got there a little early, and I found one of the librarians and quizzed her. The toddler story time is officially for 18 months to 3 years, but she said she is happy for kids to come whenever the moms think they’re ready, which meant I could take Joey if I wanted (he’s not quite a year old yet). She also told me that the moms can go with the preschoolers if they want. Ben has never gone to an activity without me at least observing before, so I wasn’t sure how it would go.
We went to the room where the preschoolers met, and I asked Ben if he wanted me to stay with him or if he wanted to go by himself.
“By myself,” he said.
We looked around the room together and other children (many with their parents) began to gather. I asked him once more before I left if he wanted to stay by himself or if he wanted me to stay with him. Again, “by myself” was the answer. So we found a place for him to sit down and I went to the other room to do the storytime activities there with Joey.
Joey paid attention about half of the time. The other half was spent playing with his nametag. But really, I was impressed that he was that interested in what was going on. He sat on my lap happily the entire time.
The preschool story time goes from 10:30 to 11:00 and toddler storytime is from 10:35 to 10:55, so we were ready when the door opened and the preschoolers started pouring out. And pouring out is what they did! It was more like a stampede. They got a picture to color as they left. I kept waiting for Ben, but I didn’t seem him. Finally, when most of the other kids were gone, Ben appeared, with tears in his eyes.
I gave him a hug and asked him if he had fun, but he just cried. Oh, my poor sweet Ben!
I went into the room and talked with the teacher, who was the only one left in there. [Did I mention all the kids left like a herd of cattle?]
I asked her how he did and she said he did quite fine. I mentioned that he was crying when he came out, and she said he just got a little confused at the end when everyone got up to leave.
It makes perfect sense, if you know Ben.
So I asked him on the way home (as well as a couple more times during the course of the day), “Ben, did you have fun at storytime this morning?”
“Yes.” He smiles.
“Do you want to go back to storytime again?”
“No.” End of conversation.
I tried to ask him if he’d like me to stay with him next time, but didn’t get much of a response until this evening when he said he would like for me to do that.
When I talked to the librarians, I asked if most people come on just Tuesday or Thursday or if they do both. The answer was that they do the same stories on both days, so most people just go once. I’m thinking we’ll go back again Thursday and do it again.
Doing the same stories over again will add familiarity to it – and if little children love hearing the same stories over and over again, Ben is no exception. This time I can go with Ben and give him a little more direction as to what to do so he feels more comfortable with it all. And maybe sometime soon, he’ll be ready to go by himself again, just like a big boy. All grown up.