What a Life!

Ever since Steve and I got married, he has wondered why I didn’t grow up going to church on Christmas Day, and I have been completely mystified as to why you would need to do such a thing. [He was raised Catholic, I was raised Adventist.] That is, until this year.

A few months ago, I began playing the piano for mass. We attend a small country church, and they didn’t have any musicians for one of their services. Prior to this year, I did not have a piano so there was no way I could practice and prepare to play. I enjoy doing it – it gives me a reason to practice the piano each week other than just playing for fun, and the people who attend seem to really appreciate having music rather than singing a capella.

It has always seemed to me to be strange every year that we don’t sing many Christmas carols at church. I never really paid that close attention, but as pianist, I had every intention of seeing to it that we got to enjoy singing them during the holiday season. That was, until our priest told me, “No Christmas music until Christmas Day.”

Turns out, Catholics celebrate the twenty four days of Advent by reliving the Jews longing for Jesus to come. So, no Christmas carols. No celebratory music such as the Gloria. As a Catholic, you are supposed to fast and pray. And you’re even supposed to give up something, a la Lent.

Why? Because this is how Christmas has been celebrated for hundreds of years, since the Middle Ages, our priest told me.

It should have been as no surprise to me. Once I thought about it, I realized that many of the sermons and articles in the bulletin this time of year were about how Christmas isn’t celebrated correctly and how it used to be celebrated, how the Santa Claus we know isn’t anything like the real Santa Claus, and so forth. I had always felt a certain hostility towards the season – now I knew why.

Now growing up Adventist, we had similar sermons and articles about the real meaning of Christmas. But they were along the lines of putting Christ back into X-mas, remembering the Reason for the Season, and so forth. It was always delivered, however, with the encouragement to remember to celebrate the real meaning of Christmas rather than being so swept up in all the other things that you forgot you were celebrating the birthday of the One who came to save the world. It enriched the season rather than making you feel guilty for participating in it.

Now please understand, I have a degree in Humanities – aka General Studies – with an emphasis on Religious Studies. I spent quite some time in college taking classes about how we think about our religion affects how we think in our society. I studied works such as Max Weber’s Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism where he argues something along the lines of Protestant’s idea that they can read the Bible and understand it themselves (the basis of Protestantism) and the idea of capitalism where anyone can start their own business and have the opportunity to be successful (or fail) go hand in hand. So I’m looking at this from a philosophical perspective rather than a ‘this Bible text says this’ approach. I’m taking a practical, utilitarian approach rather than a this-is-the-correct-way-to-do-things approach.

If Catholics are supposed to spend Advent fasting and praying and looking forward to the coming of the Messiah, then it is no wonder that attending mass on Christmas Day is so important. It’s the culmination of what you have spent 24 days pining after. For Adventists (and many other Protestants), you’ve been celebrating the birth of Christ all month – why do you need to go to church and celebrate the birth of Christ on the day itself? Therein lies the solution to the mystery Steve and I had been living for so many years.

Now in a literal sense, for the Catholics to change their practice, they would need a direct proclamation from the Pope in order to do so. Which probably isn’t going to happen. So there isn’t much choice in the matter.

But from a Protestant perspective where you question everything with the assumption that it with either stand the test or you will find a clearer truth (which is the thinking I was raised with), the whole Catholic way of celebrating Christmas does not make sense. At least, not to me.

The only explanation I was really given was (directly) that this is how it’s been done for centuries. Well, they also believed – for centuries – that the world was flat. [And no, I am not interested in joining the Flat Earth Society.]

I also don’t celebrate my children’s birthday’s in the weeks leading up to them by remembering and reliving the agony of those last few weeks of pregnancy – even if all has gone well, you still feel like a whale at that point, you’re tired of being pregnant, and you just want it all to be over (the pregnancy part) to say nothing of your desire to finally get to hold your baby in your arms. Really. Not my idea of fun. [Just saying…]

And while one of my favorite things about the Catholic church is that you have a standard way of doing things, a routine to follow, I think this is perhaps one issue where the decision needs to be made on a local level rather than by a single individual half way around the world.

Why? Remember, now, that I grew up in an atmosphere where the biggest issue at Christmas time was putting the reason back into the season. If you aren’t allowed to celebrate the reason for the season when everyone else is doing it – at least, where we live, then of course the meaning of Christmas is going to be separated from the celebration of it. Everything you do before Christmas takes on a secular perspective because you aren’t allowed to be celebrating the religious aspect of it yet. You leave a vacuum that can only be filled by secular things. Like evil commercialism, which is what our priest told me Christmas in modern society is all about. Well, no duh!

The thing is, there are many good things that have come out of the commercialization of Christmas. The spirit of capitalism says it is as honorable to sell as it is to buy. If no one sold Christmas cards or pictures, I wouldn’t have a reason to hear from friends and family that I hadn’t seen but still cared about. If people didn’t make money arranging, playing or singing Christmas carols, we wouldn’t have so many of the beautiful songs and arrangements we get to enjoy every year. If no on sold albums, we couldn’t listen to the best artists in the country singing those songs. If there were no gifts at Christmas, I would miss out on showing appreciation to the people around me – I wouldn’t be giving them gifts to thank them for being a part of my life (which, to me, is what gifts are mostly about anyway). If it weren’t for commercialization, we wouldn’t have the ingredients and recipes to make many of my favorite holiday recipes. Someone came up with a recipe or ingredient that was really good and decided to sell it – whether it be holiday mints or Peanut Blossom cookies. Think of all the joy and happiness we would miss out on.

Commercialization isn’t inherently evil – it is how it is used that matters. It can make your life richer by enhancing the things you do, or it can make your life hollow by becoming an object in itself.

Don’t get me wrong – I think tradition is very important. I’ve spent twelve days here talking about the traditions of Christmas that mean the most to me. But I also think you need to grow where you’re planted.

Celebrating Advent and the Twelve Days of Christmas as in times past has fallen by the wayside, essentially. That tradition was not mandated anywhere in the Bible – it was developed during the Middle Ages, aka post-biblical times. It’s not necessarily a bad tradition; it simply doesn’t fit with how Christmas is celebrated in modern society. In fact, adhering stubbornly to that tradition would mean missing out on the most meaningful parts of Christmas.

The Reason for the Season is very important – after all, Christmas is kind of like the greatest birthday celebration ever. It is one of the cornerstones of the Christian faith – if Christ had not come down to earth and been born as a babe, he couldn’t have died for us and thus there would be no salvation. Both traditions celebrate that, just in completely different ways.

Ultimately, I must confess, with my background in Humanities and Religious Studies, I find this whole debate fascinating. It makes me want to go back and learn how the traditions evolved over the years. When did it start to change? Why?

Did I ever mention that one of the most interesting papers I wrote in college was about how the various artistic styles – from the Middle Ages through the Renaissance, Baroque period, and so on – reflected the main tenants of the religious thinking of the day? Fascinating. The relationship was far more direct than you might realize. But that’s another topic, another post, another day.

Every year, I hear someone complaining about the hustle and bustle of the holiday season and how they’re getting lost in it all. I must confess, it’s happened to me. More than once.

This year was no exception. But as I struggled I came up with a dual strategy that seemed to solve my problem and soothe my soul. Be mindful. Be deliberate.

Actually, that epiphany came as I was driving around the mall, listening to Christmas music on the radio and seeing all of the holiday decorations around me (including wreaths, which I love so much). I was busy. I was hurrying. But I realized I could stop for a moment and simply enjoy the busy-ness and the hurry-ness of it all.

And really, that theory can take you quite far. For instance, some people dread the annual holiday parties. Especially the annual holiday office party. You have to go to a party and supposedly have fun with people who drive you crazy day after day after day. Or something like that.

I look at it this way. There are some things that might not exactly be your favorite thing about the season. But they are a big part of what makes the season what it is. Be deliberate when you attend the holiday party, and be mindful of how it contributes to the aura of the season.

Your favorite thing about the holiday office party may be the prime rib rather than the people. There’s nothing wrong with that. Or you may enjoy having a chance to dress up in formal clothes and go out for an evening – that in itself can be the highlight of it all rather than what you actually go out and do. Thus you can still choose to do things rather than just going along with it all because you think you have to. As in, be deliberate.

My personal roadblock of the holiday season would have to be my utter disdain for cold weather. Now I love wearing coats and long pajamas and sweaters (especially handknit ones) and all. But I hate shivering in the car while you drive those five miles before it warms up. I hate walking from my warm car into a store when it’s freezing cold and the wind is blowing like hell. It doesn’t matter what you have on. It’s cold, and there’s plenty of ice to slip on (something which I seem to do a lot).

But I must confess, even after growing up in Florida, it just doesn’t seem like Christmas to me unless it’s cold.Though in Florida, it did get cold for Christmas. Cold enough that we would actually turn on the heat, and wear warm clothes like long johns. My parents had this kerosene heater out in by the dining room table. Dad would prime it (I can still hear the sound) and get it going. Then we would all huddle around it to get warm while we ate breakfast. Being cold in Florida was exciting, and I guess we had to enjoy the excitement as much as we could by using that kerosene heater instead of just heating the whole house and being comfortable, for God’s sake!

That phenomenon used to serve me quite well in getting ready for Christmas. The weather would get into the 40’s at night and the 60’s during the day and it would be Christmas weather to me. I’d get all my holiday planning and shopping done in October, and the only thing left when the season actually arrived would be decorating, making holiday goodies, and simply enjoying it all.

But really, this strategy works for most anything. Any time of year. When you find yourself getting swept away being busy and just going through the motions, you don’t necessarily need to slow down. Just be mindful. Be deliberate. These are the moments of your life. Enjoy them.

One of the parts of Christmas that I simply cannot leave out is stories…and movies.

Every year, Steve loves seeing the Charlie Brown special on tv. We even have the soundtrack now.

My favorite has to be It’s a Wonderful Life. I love movies from that era. I didn’t catch it on tv this year, but Schon brought it when he came for Christmas, and the twelve days of Christmas aren’t over yet so I still have time to watch it, right?

My mother-in-law gave me White Christmas for Christmas a couple years ago. I did watch that one this year, and loved it, as usual.

With Steve’s family, watching Christmas Vacation is an annual tradition. I must confess, there are few movies I hate more than that one. They’re just a bunch of idiots. And Steve and his brother and his family laugh and hee-haw and carry on like it’s the greatest movie in the world. Every year. Oh my!

Moving on to books…

I’ve never been into the Scrooge thing. But this year, I actually checked the original work by Dickens – as in, the book – out from the library and am in the process of reading it. It has elements of non-real-life in it – the spirits and all – which is, I think, why I don’t really like it. I just don’t get in to stories that couldn’t happen in real life.

I love O. Henry’s Gift of the Magi. I found my copy of it – I actually have one – and was going to read it aloud to Ben this year, but then time got away on me. [Is he ready for that story yet, anyway?]

And Christmas story books for the kids. We had four Golden books when I was a kid. One was about Santa Claus not having time to play with all the toys because he was too busy working. I wanted to get one for the boys, but it was more that I wanted to spend this year. (Golden Books are supposed to be under $5, in my world.) We also had Frosty the Snowman, which I managed to snag a used copy of for Ben this year – different cover, but the same words and pictures inside.

We also have How the Grinch Stole Christmas which Steve read to Ben. Then Schon brought the movie down when he came for Christmas. We already have Frosty the Snowman on DVD – from Steve’s mom a year or two ago, I think.

Here’s the funny part. After Ben watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas, he apparently decided that all of his books are also movies. So now when he reads his books, which he does a lot, he starts out by singing – like, humming a tune – then he reads a page, sings some more while he turns the page, and continues on in similar fashion. You know, like the music at the beginning and between the scenes when you watch the movie. It’s hysterical. In fact, I have tears running down my cheeks right now I’m laughing so hard about it. Oh my!

As I write this, my Christmas cards are addressed and assembled. They just need return addresses and postage. If you’re waiting for one from me, don’t give up yet.

I love Christmas cards. Yeah, they’re pretty and all, lined up on the bookshelves. But I think what I love most is hearing from people. People I don’t hear from except at Christmas time. People I would love to see all the time but don’t.

My favorite part? Christmas letters. To me, a Christmas card without a letter is a big disappointment. Like a little kid opening a card that contains $100 in twentys and tossing it aside because it is of no apparent value to them. I mean, I appreciate the thought and all. But what I really want to know is how you are doing, how are things going for you, what is happening in your life.

I know some people complain about them as though people are bragging about their year. I rarely see them that way. The people that list all the relatives I don’t know that they visited or came to visit them – that gets a little boring. But the basics of where you live, what you do, and some of the highlights of your year – now that I feast on. In fact, I’m more prone to keep the letters and toss the cards (after they’ve been displayed, of course).

And I love pictures, though they do not replace a Christmas letter. Just saying is all.

Last year, mine did not get sent out at all. Joey had pyloric stenosis. Grandma Hagele died. I was doing laundry on Christmas Eve so we would have clean underwear to wear the next day. This year had it’s own drama, which I do not care to discuss.

But I’m still going to get them out. It’ll be just letters and a picture. But people will still hear from me and maybe I’ll get some back next year. Maybe even with letters in them.

One can always hope…

Okay, this is really embarrassing. One of my favorite things about the Christmas season is the commercials on tv.

No – not all of them. Just a few chosen ones. Just a few that I can’t see enough of. Yeah, the ones that make me stop what I’m doing when I’m in another room just to run over to the tv so I can see them. Those.

Every year, there are many of the same. With a few new.

The first one that comes to mind: Kay Jewelers – the same every year. It’s one I never like. In fact, I dislike it so much that I thought of it first. Every kiss begins with Kay. Deliver me now!

The Jared commercial this year was new, at least to me. He went to Jared. That one. I’ll be incorporating that phrase (including the how it’s said) into my regularly used lines. Like, he went to Lowes. [Clearly I have no life.] Otherwise, I didn’t really care for that one.

The one where they do the turkey wishbone and she “gets what she wished for” and he pulls out jewelry? Didn’t really like that one either.

Do we have a pattern here? Maybe it’s the jewelry thing. My husband would be in deep trouble if he spent enough money to buy me diamond earrings for Christmas. Or a car! Do people really buy cars as Christmas presents? Or are you just supposed to go out and buy one for yourself? I could never imagine anyone giving me a car for Christmas.

But the car commercials – I love car commercials. Not your local dealership commercials – those are some of the most tacky ones on tv. Make you glad they have a mute button on the remote. I think I like car commercials year round. Especially the pickup truck ones. They didn’t have many of those over the holidays.

I think it’s the Lexus commercials that have that same jingle Deck the Halls with a swingy band. Aren’t they the ones that have the big red bows on the cars too? Or am I confused?

I loved the one where he called his wife to tell her he was running late, so could she go pick up their son? Then he and their son are out in the driveway with the new car. With a bow on top. Lexus? Obviously I’m more interested in the commercial than the item being advertised.

But the best of all has to be Garmin. This year’s Garmin with the three hobos was “eh.” But last year’s commercial – they still showed it some this year – with the Got a uni-brow takes the cake. For the longest time, last year, I didn’t realize that they had incorporated “Garmin” into the song so much, but I finally did pick up on that. It’s pretty subtle. But her driving around like crazy while they sing the song and her discovery of the uni-brow – my absolute favorite.

What isn’t there to love about Christmas?

There’s more to decorating for the holidays than just the Christmas tree. I must confess, though, that the tree is about all we have. So today’s post is more of a wish list than show-and-tell.

I love holiday wreaths. My favorites are the dark green ones made out of faux Christmas tree branches, but I’ve seen others made of pine cones and other oddities that were beautiful as well. I would love to have a holiday wreath hanging on our front door. But usually you’re looking at $50 for a ready-made one or less if you buy a plain one but then you spend about the same by the time you get it decorated. And decorating something like a wreath is not something I’m really good at. I am good at assembling things – I am not good at deciding what should go on something and figuring out how to make it look nice. So alas! we do not have a Christmas wreath.

I tell myself, it would hang on the front door so I wouldn’t get to see it much – just when I come home from town once or twice a week and when I go out to get the mail. So much expense for so little enjoyment hardly seems prudent. But I love them so much, I still want one. When other people post pictures of their decorations, it’s the wreaths that I spend the most time looking at. I saw a neat one this year where a knitter had made tiny little sweater ornaments and decorated one with them. Maybe I just need to spend $25 on a plain one and then decorate it differently every year. I don’t know. I really love Christmas wreaths, though. If I could think of a place to hang it inside my house so I could enjoy it more, I be even more tempted to get one. Woe is me!

Steve’s mom decorates her house for every season. When she lived here, I swear, every time we went over to her house, she had it decorated differently. For fall. For St. Patricks Day. For Valentines. Kind of like elementary school classroom where your teacher changes the decor every month. I’ve never been into all of that. It can easily turn into clutter and just be in the way. And think of all the stuff you have to store and get out and put away all the time? I’d decorate for St. Patty’s Day and it would still be up in October, I think.

For Christmas, though, I’ve thought it would be nice to have a holiday centerpiece for the dining room table. And holiday linens for Christmas dinner. A nice table cloth and coordinating cloth napkins. I don’t think I would want Christmas dishes, though – either plates for the table or even serving dishes. It would just be one more thing to store and have in my way and then to have to remember to dig it out every year. Again, not my cup of tea.

The other Christmas decoration I would really like to have is Christmas stockings. I have plain red ones with white tops. But they’re just cheap ones I picked up to get by. [In some years past, I have filled them on Christmas Eve to be opened on Christmas morning. I didn’t get that done this year, though.] I’ve seen some really cool knitted ones I would love to have (and make, of course). I even bought yarn to make one a couple days before Christmas – I’d seen a pattern I loved and one of the online stores had yarn packs for it (so you don’t have to figure out what yarn you need and how much and all that). There is a pattern for an aran stocking in last year’s Vogue Knitting holiday magazine that I love. Then there is a blue-white-red striped one in one of the holiday knitting books that I drool over every year. I just have never gotten around to making them, though. Maybe next year, now that I have bought some yarn specifically for a stocking, I will get around to making some. They would be so pretty.

My mom always had holiday decorations that replaced some of the normal decorations – like candles and such – in the living room during the holiday season. Now that I have a piano, I think a nice holiday decoration for the top of the piano would be nice. I need to start watching for something I would like up there. I think part of my problem is that I avoid the sections of the store where they have the holiday decorations. It always seems so cluttered in that area. I don’t know if it is the nature of holiday decorations or if people are just digging through them all the time and the poor clerks can’t keep things straight. Everyone online was talking about the Pottery Barn catalog last fall and all the neat ideas in it. Now that’s more like what I would be interested in. Their stuff might not fit in my budget, but I could either save for it or just glean ideas from it. I need to look into that…